My boyfriend called me fat [Meaning + Solution]

by Daniel Conn
Updated on

Your boyfriend called you fat. It’s not the first time he’s said it, but it still stings. You know you’re not overweight, but his words make you feel like you are. You’re not sure how to deal with this. Do you confront him about it? Do you try to lose weight? Or do you just ignore it and hope it goes away?

If your boyfriend calls you fat, it can be a really tough situation to deal with. On the one hand, you may be hurt and offended by his words. On the other hand, you may be worried that he’s right and that you really are overweight. 

If your boyfriend has called you fat, the first thing you need to do is take a deep breath and try to stay calm. It’s important to have a level head when you’re dealing with such a sensitive issue. Once you’re feeling more level-headed, you can talk to your boyfriend about why his words hurt you and why they weren’t acceptable.

What does it mean if my boyfriend called me fat?

There are a few possible explanations for why your boyfriend might have called you fat. Maybe he was trying to be funny and make a joke. Or, he could be feeling insecure about his own body and was trying to make you feel bad so that he would feel better. 

Alternatively, he could simply be an insensitive jerk who was trying to hurt your feelings. If your boyfriend called you fat, it’s important to communicate with him about why that might have been hurtful so that you can figure out what, if anything, needs to change in your relationship.

Let’s discuss each case briefly:

He was trying to be funny and make a joke

Boyfriend called you fat, as he was trying to be funny and make a joke. However, this could be interpreted as him actually thinking you are fat, which could be hurtful. 

If you are not comfortable with him making jokes like this, you should talk to him about it and explain why it bothers you. Additionally, you could try to come up with some jokes of your own to make light of the situation and diffuse the tension.

Feeling insecure about his own body. 

When someone makes an insult like “you are fat,” it’s usually because they’re feeling insecure about their own body. In this case, the boyfriend is probably feeling bad about himself and is taking it out on you. This is not an acceptable way to treat someone, and it’s important to communicate with him about why this is hurtful.

It’s also important to try to understand where he’s coming from and why he’s feeling this way. Maybe he’s been teased about his weight in the past or maybe he’s just generally unhappy with his appearance. Whatever the reason, it’s important to be supportive and understanding.

Trying to hurt your feelings.

When someone calls you fat, it is usually an attempt to hurt your feelings. The word “fat” is often used as an insult, and so when your boyfriend says it, he is likely trying to make you feel bad about yourself. 

If you are overweight, you may already feel insecure and self-conscious, and his words will only make those feelings worse. It is important to remember that your worth does not come from your physical appearance and that you are more than just your weight. You deserve to be treated with respect, no matter what your size is.

What should you do to make him learn a lesson for calling you fat?

If your boyfriend has the audacity to call you fat, there are a few things you can do to make him learn his lesson. 

Let’s find out what these are:

Give him a taste of his own medicine

Calling fat is a form of bullying that can have a profound impact on anyone. While it may seem like a harmless way to tease someone, it can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and even depression. A person often internalizes the negative comments and begins to believe them. This can lead to a spiral of negative thinking that can be difficult to break out of.

In return, you can give him a taste of his own medicine by calling him fat. This will likely hurt his feelings and make him think twice before using that word again.

You can simply tell him how hurtful his words are 

If you want your boyfriend to learn a lesson, you can simply tell him how hurtful his words are for calling you fat. Doing this will help him realize how his words can affect you and will hopefully make him think twice before speaking so harshly in the future.

If he doesn’t seem to be taking your feelings into consideration, you may need to have a more serious conversation about why his words are hurtful and why they need to stop.

By taking any of these actions, your boyfriend will learn that calling you fat is not acceptable and will hopefully not even repeat that word to a girl.

You can break up with him.

If it is something he does quite often and that too intentionally to make you feel bad about yourself, then this is probably the best move in your situation.

This will send a clear message that you won’t tolerate being disrespected and will also teach him a lesson in how to treat a partner. 

If he calls you fat, it shows that he is not respecting your body or your feelings. You need to be sure that you are ready to break up with him before you do it. You need to have a plan and be prepared for the consequences. Make sure you are breaking up with him for the right reasons. If you are doing it just to get his attention, it may backfire, and he could end up getting angry or hurt.

Is it necessarily body shaming if your boyfriend calls you fat?

There is some debate over whether or not it is body shaming if a boyfriend calls his partner “fat.” Some people argue that it is body shaming because it is an insult and it reinforces negative stereotypes about overweight people. 

Others argue that it is not body shaming because it is not said with the intention of hurting the person’s feelings. Ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide whether or not they feel body shamed by their partner’s comments.

The Bottom Line:

If your boyfriend calls you fat, he is clearly an insecure person who is looking for a way to boost his own self-esteem by putting you down. This is not acceptable behavior, and you should not tolerate it. 

Talk to him about how his words make you feel, and try to work together to find a solution that is acceptable to both of you. If he is unwilling to change his behavior, then it may be time to reconsider the relationship.

About the author

Daniel Conn

Daniel has more than 7 years of experience working as a relationship and dating coach. He has helped hundreds of people find love and fix the problems in their relationships.