My boyfriend says I complain too much [meaning]

by Daniel Conn
Updated on

If you are anything like others, you have been in a relationship where your boyfriend has told you that you complain too much. It’s an easy thing to do – to get wrapped up in our own thoughts and problems and start voicing them out loud without realizing it. But it’s important to remember that your significant other is there to support you, not to be your personal therapist.

If your boyfriend says you complain too much, it can be a difficult conversation to have. You may feel defensive and like he is telling you to change who you are. However, it is possible to have a productive conversation about this topic. 

If your boyfriend brings it up, try to listen to his perspective and understand where he is coming from. It may be helpful to ask him for specific examples of when you complain. Once you have a better understanding of his perspective, you can share your own. It is important, to be honest about how you feel and to express what you need from the relationship.

What does it mean when my boyfriend says I complain too much?

If your boyfriend says you complain too much, it means he thinks you are complaining more than is necessary. This could be because you’re actually complaining more than usual, or it could be because he’s sensitive to criticism and perceives your complaints as more frequent than they actually are. 

In any case, it’s important to have a discussion with your boyfriend about what he means and why he feels that way. Only then can you decide whether you need to make changes to the way you communicate with him.

Let’s understand more about this:

He thinks you are complaining more than is necessary

It is human nature to complain when we feel like we are not being heard or when we are unhappy with a situation. However, it is important to be mindful of how often we complain to our loved ones. If our complaints are excessive, it can create tension in the relationship. 

Your boyfriend may feel like you are never happy and that he can never do anything right. This can lead him to feel defensive and resentful. It is important to be able to share your frustrations with your boyfriend, but you also need to be aware of how often you are doing it. If you find yourself complaining more than usual, it might be a good idea to take a step back and assess the situation. 

He is sensitive to criticism

When it comes to relationships, it is important to be able to take constructive criticism from your partner. However, it is also important to be aware of your partner’s sensitivities. If your partner is sensitive to criticism, then it’s important to be mindful of how you communicate with them. 

If you find yourself constantly complaining to your boyfriend, it might be worth considering how your words are impacting him. Try to be more mindful of his sensitivities and take a step back to assess the situation before you speak.

He is fed up with you

Your boyfriend may be telling you that you complain too much because he is growing tired of your negative attitude. It’s possible that your constant complaining is driving a wedge between the two of you and causing him to feel distant from you. If you want to salvage your relationship, it may be time to take a step back and assess your own complaining habits. 

See if you can identify when and why you tend to complain, and whether there might be a more constructive way to communicate your needs to your boyfriend. If you can work on curbing your complaints, it may help to improve your relationship and make your boyfriend feel closer to you again.

How to stop complaining so much?

If you are in a relationship and your boyfriend says you complain too much, it can be tough to figure out how to stop. After all, relationships are supposed to be built on communication and if you are not communicating your needs, it can be easy to start feeling resentful. 

The key is to find a balance between asserting yourself and being understanding of your partner’s needs. Try to avoid complaining about every little thing and only bring up the issues that are really important to you. If you can learn to communicate effectively with your partner, you’ll be able to stop complaining and start enjoying your relationship.

Let’s find out the ways for it:

Try to avoid complaining about every little thing

When your boyfriend tells you that you complain too much, it may be helpful to try to avoid complaining about every little thing. 

Instead, focus on the things that are truly important to you and leave the small details out. This will help to keep your relationship healthy and avoid arguments over trivial matters.

Try to write it down 

When your boyfriend tells you that you complain too much, try writing down your complaints instead of voicing them. This will help you to prevent yourself from complaining unnecessarily. 

By writing down your complaints, you can more easily assess whether or not they are valid. If they are not valid, then you can refrain from complaining about them. This will help you to save your complaints for only the most important matters.

Self-introspect 

When you find yourself in a situation where your boyfriend tells you that you complain too much, it is important to take a step back and self-reflect. Why might you be complaining more than usual? Is there something going on in your life that is causing you stress? 

Once you have identified the source of your stress, you can begin to work on resolving the issue. In some cases, simply communicating with your boyfriend about what is going on in your life can help to reduce the amount of complaining you do. If you can learn to identify the root cause of your stress and take steps to resolve it, you will likely find that you complain less overall.

The Bottom Line:

The best thing you can do is try to be more positive and take some time for yourself to focus on your own happiness. If you find that you’re still struggling, it might be a good idea to talk to a therapist, who can help you work on finding more positivity in your life.

About the author

Daniel Conn

Daniel has more than 7 years of experience working as a relationship and dating coach. He has helped hundreds of people find love and fix the problems in their relationships.