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What does it mean when a guy asks what are you looking for?

by Daniel Conn
Updated on

So a guy just asked you what you are looking for, and now you can’t stop thinking about why he did it and what it means?

It’s not a casual question that you just ask people randomly without any reason; it is a serious question that guys usually ask when they are interested in a girl.

So what does it mean when a guy asks what are you looking for?

Well, it could have multiple different meanings. But in general, it shows that he is interested in you and wants to know what kind of relationship you are interested in to check if you two are compatible or not.

It could also be the case that he is just asking the question to make conversation, or perhaps he is asking because his friend is interested in you.

As you can see, there could be various meanings behind him asking you this question, and it can be a little difficult to point out the exact reason behind him asking this question to you.

In this article, we will try to help you understand his intentions behind asking what you are looking for.

So let’s get started!

What does it mean when a guy asks what are you looking for?

The “what are you looking for” question can be a tricky one. While it’s common knowledge that this question has a purpose, the meaning behind it is not always so clear. 

In most cases, it’s an initial starting point to determine if they match your ideal partner. However, there are times when guys ask what you’re looking for without any context or, better yet: without any intention at all.

He wants to make sure that he will be a good match for you. Stating out loud what you’re looking for may help him get to know you better and find out if you’ll be compatible.

It’s also an opportunity for him to tell you about himself and show his interests, habits, and desires.

Here are some of the common reasons behind him asking you what you are looking for

Want to know about your preference

When it comes to finding love, everyone has different preferences. However, there are some general trends that tend to hold true for many people.

For example, most people are often attracted to those who are similar to them in terms of personality and interests. Additionally, people are often drawn to those who make them feel good about themselves and who make them feel comfortable and secure.

So maybe he is just assessing your personality and preferences by asking what you are looking for in a partner.

This shows that the guy is interested in getting to know you on a deeper level and that he is willing to cater to your needs and preferences.

He might not have feelings for you as of now but want to know if you two could have a chance in the future.

He just wants to make conversation.

When a guy asks a girl what she is looking for, he is usually just trying to make conversation.

He may be interested in her, but he is likely just trying to get to know her better. He is probably just having a deeper conversation and doesn’t really have any intentions behind it.

It’s normal for good friends to have conversations about their preferences in love life and their dreams and goals in life, and there is nothing unusual about it.

If he is a good friend, then maybe he is just trying to understand you at a deeper level, and dont have any other intentions behind asking these questions.

He is attracted to you.

When a guy asks you what you are looking for, he is most probably attracted to you.

He is trying to gauge your level of interest and see if you are someone who he could potentially pursue a relationship with.

This is a way for him to get to know you better and see if there is a potential connection between the two of you. 

By asking this question, he is showing that he is interested in you and wants to get to know you better. So, if you are also interested in him, be sure to give him a positive response and let him know that you are interested in getting to know him better, too.

By asking these questions, he is trying to get to know you better and see if you are someone he would like to pursue.

He is feeling self-conscious.

 When someone feels self-conscious, it means they are worried about how they are being perceived by others.

In this case, the person is feeling insecure because they were asked a question that they feel they may not have a good answer to. 

This can be a difficult question to answer because it can be hard to know what you are looking for in a relationship.

Some people can be looking for something serious, while others may just be looking for something casual. It really depends on the person and what they are looking for in their life at that moment. 

Someone might have made fun of him because of his presence in life, and maybe he was feeling insecure and wanted other people’s opinions to feel better about himself.

His friend is attracted to you.

Another possible reason behind asking this question can be that his friend is interested in you, and he wants to make sure he has a chance before he comes and talks to you.

Some guys are too shy to approach a girl and ask their friends for help, and that might be the case in your situation.

Or it could also be that he just wanted to know about your relationship status and your preference to help his friend who has a crush on you.

You can think about who this guy hangs out with and if any of them have ever shown interest in you to know if this is why he asked you what you’re looking for in a guy.

things to consider

Now you have a better idea of what might be the reasons behind him asking you what you are looking for.

But it’s still not exactly clear if he is interested or not.

And to know that for sure, you will have to consider some other things as well, which is what we will discuss in this section.

When and where he asked

The timing and location of his question are important factors to consider to know for sure if he likes you.

If he asks the question when he is alone with you, it shows that he is interested in you and is willing to take the time to get to know you better.

On the other hand, if he asks the question when you guys are in a group, it could mean that he is just trying to make some conversation or see what others’ perspectives are on this question.

Compare how he interacts with his other friends and you.

When considering whether or not someone likes you, it is important to compare how they interact with you in comparison to how they interact with their other friends or other people around you.

If they are more attentive and engaging with you, it is likely that they do indeed like you.

Additionally, if they have asked you directly if they like you, this is usually a good indicator that they are interested in you.

If he goes out of his way to spend time with you and likes to take care of your needs, then again, it shows that he is interested in you.

Look for body language signs.

When you are trying to determine if someone likes you, it is important to look for a number of different body language signs.

He can try to hide his feelings by not talking about them, but if actually likes you, it would be visible through his body language.

This can give you a good indication of how the other person is feeling. Some of the things to look for include:

  • Is the other person making eye contact?
  • Do they seem to be mirroring your own body language?
  • Are they leaning in towards you when you are talking?
  • Do they touch you lightly or often when you are talking?
  • do they touch their hair when talking to you?

These are just a few of the things to consider when you are trying to read someone’s body language. If the person you are interested in seems to be displaying these signs, then it is likely that they are interested.

What should you say when a guy asks what are you looking for?

When it comes to relationships, everyone has different wants and needs. Some people are looking for something more serious, while others just want to have some fun.

If you’re not sure what you’re looking for, it’s totally normal. But, when you’re talking to someone new, it’s important, to be honest about your intentions. 

If a guy asks you what you’re looking for, be honest and tell him what you’re looking for in a relationship.

Even if you’re not sure, that’s okay, too. Just tell him that you’re open to seeing where things go.

Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to relationships.

The Bottom Line:

When a guy asks what you’re looking for, he’s usually trying to gauge your interest level and see if you’re open to dating.

He may also be trying to gauge how serious you are about dating and relationships. Or maybe he is just trying to make conversation or trying to assess your preferences for his friend.

But in most cases, it just shows that he is interested in you and probably wants to as you out.

If you’re not sure what you’re looking for, it’s okay to tell him that you’re still figuring things out. But if you know that you’re not interested in dating, it’s best to be honest and tell him that.

If you’re looking for something serious, you can say that you’re looking for a partner who is ready to commit to a long-term relationship. If you’re looking for something more casual, you can say that you’re just looking to date casually and get to know someone new.

About the author

Daniel Conn

Daniel has more than 7 years of experience working as a relationship and dating coach. He has helped hundreds of people find love and fix the problems in their relationships.